Why you're struggling to switch off from work (and what your brain has to do with it)

If you've ever wondered why your brain keeps bringing work home with you long after you've closed the laptop, there's actually a psychological explanation for it. In this article, I'll unpack the science behind why we struggle to switch off—including the fascinating Zeigarnik Effect—and three simple ways to help your brain get the memo that work is done for the day.

Many of the leaders and professionals I work with tell me some version of the same thing:

"I finish work, but I never really switch off."

Maybe you know the feeling too?

You leave the office, close the laptop, or finish your last meeting for the day... but your brain keeps clocking in for overtime.

You're making dinner while mentally drafting tomorrow's email.

You're watching your kid's sports game while replaying a conversation from earlier.

You're lying in bed thinking about all the things you didn't get done.

If this sounds familiar, please know you're not broken!

Your brain's actually doing exactly what brains are designed to do... figure unfinished things out. There's even a name for this: the Zeigarnik Effect. It's a psychological phenomenon where unfinished tasks tend to stick in our minds more than completed ones. Think of it like your brain keeping a running list of loose ends to gently (or not so gently!) remind you that they're still there. The problem is those mental reminders don't always respect office hours.

The added challenge is that modern work gives our brains an endless supply of unfinished tasks, unanswered emails, competing priorities and people who need things from us.

If we don't deliberately help our brains transition out of work mode, they'll happily keep working long after we've stopped getting paid.

The really good news is that switching off isn't something you're either good at or bad at.

It's a learned skill. And like any skill, it can be practised. Here's how.

1. Challenge the "I shoulds"

One of the biggest barriers to switching off isn't your workload per se.

It's the story you're telling yourself about your workload.

Many high-performing people carry around invisible rules like:

• "I should be able to handle everything."

• "I can't relax until it's done."

• "I'll let people down if I don't get it finished."

• "A good leader is always available."

• "I'll rest when I've earned it."

The problem?

Work is never finished.

There will always be another email, another project, another person who needs something.

If your brain believes you must complete everything before you're allowed to rest, you're essentially setting yourself an impossible task.

One of my favourite reframes to combat unhelpful "shoulds" is:

Recovery is part of excellent performance.

Not a reward for finishing.

Not something you do when everything is under control. But part of the job.

Athletes don't wait until they've completed every possible training session before they recover. Recovery is built into the process because it's what allows performance to continue.

The same is true for us too.

2. Give your brain somewhere else to go

Many people think switching off means trying not to think about work.

Have you ever noticed how well that works?

"Don't think about work."

Cue immediate thoughts about work - aaargh!

The goal isn't to stop your brain thinking.

The goal is to intentionally direct your attention somewhere else.

Research on recovery from work consistently shows that one of the most important factors is something called psychological detachment. In simple terms, your mind needs a break from work-related thinking.

That doesn't happen by accident.

It happens when your attention becomes absorbed in something else.

A workout.

A walk.

Cooking dinner.

Playing with your kids.

A hobby.

A conversation with someone you care about.

Reading a good book.

Gardening.

Anything that helps your brain engage with the present moment rather than continuing to mentally rehearse tomorrow's work meetings.

One of my favourite questions at the end of a workday is:

"What am I turning towards now?" (not just, what am I turning away from?)

Switching off becomes much easier when there's something meaningful, enjoyable or restorative waiting on the other side.

3. Close the Loop

Most of us have a routine for starting work.

Coffee. Emails. Checking the calendar. Opening Teams.

But very few people have a routine for finishing work. As a result, work follows us home.

One of the most effective things I've experimented with personally, and shared with coaching clients, is creating a simple shutdown ritual.

A deliberate signal to your brain that says:

"We're done for today."

My favourite version takes less than three minutes.

Step 1: Write tomorrow's Top 3 priorities

Give your future self a clear starting point.

Step 2: Acknowledge three things you completed today

This is more important than most people realise.

Many capable humans spend all day focusing on what they didn't get done.

Meanwhile, they give themselves almost no credit for what they did achieve.

No wonder work feels unfinished.

Acknowledging progress helps close the loop psychologically (and it gives you a nifty little dopamine hit for home time!).

Step 3: Say the words

Yep, actually say them.

"Work is done for today."

It might feel a bit silly. Do it anyway.

Our brains respond surprisingly well to rituals and deliberate cues.

And if work thoughts pop up later?

Try responding with:

"Not useful now. I'll pick that up tomorrow."

Notice how different that feels from mentally wrestling with the thought for the next hour.

Sustainable performance isn't built on constant effort

One of the biggest myths in modern work is that successful people stay switched on all the time. In reality, sustainable high performance requires oscillation.

Focus and recovery.

Effort and restoration.

Engagement and detachment.

Your mind wasn't designed to operate at full throttle all day, every day.

And the irony is that the harder you push without recovery, the harder it often becomes to focus, solve problems, make decisions and lead well.

So if you've been struggling to switch off lately, don't ask yourself:

"What's wrong with me?"

Instead ask:

"What am I doing to help my brain leave work mode?"

Switching off isn't something that just happens; it's a skill. And it's one worth practising.

Your experiment this week

Before you finish work one day this week:

✔ Challenge one unhelpful "I should" thought.

✔ Get everything out of your head and onto paper.

✔ Write tomorrow's Top 3 priorities and acknowledge three things you completed today.

Then tell yourself:

"Work is done for today."

Your brain might not believe you immediately.

But with practice, it'll start getting the memo.

References

Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2019). Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

Sonnentag, S., & Fritz, C. (2015). Recovery from job stress: The stressor-detachment model.

Zeigarnik, B. (1927). On Finished and Unfinished Tasks.

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Kia ora, I'm Dr Bex! A leadership & high-performance coach.

I help capable people achieve excellence without exhaustion.

Whether I'm working one-on-one, with leaders, or across entire organisations, my focus is the same: helping people stop fighting themselves, perform sustainably, and create healthier, high-performing workplaces. Explore my book Inner Critic to Inner Coach, or book a free discovery chat to discuss coaching, workshops or consulting support.