Building connection & trust at work using the SCARF Model

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You already know that creating a positive vibe at work starts with good communication, right? What if I told you there's a simple framework to help make sure your team's feeling that positive vibe at a deep level?

Enter the SCARF model. 

It's like the secret sauce for how we respond to each other, and how you can make your communication even more powerful.

SCARF stands for Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness. These are five fundamental human needs that, when met, help people feel safe, respected, and connected. When they’re threatened, though? People can go into defense mode, shut down, or even act out. 

As a leader, your job is to make sure your team feels supported in these areas, especially during tough conversations. Here’s how:

1. Status – Help People Feel Valued

What it means: People need to feel respected and like they’re making a meaningful contribution. No one likes feeling “less than” or invisible.

How to: Recognise and acknowledge people's contributions, no matter how big or small. Gauge whether they're the type of person who'd appreciate public celebration, or something more personal and 1:1. Be mindful not to put anyone down in front of others.

Example:

Instead of: “That’s not what I meant by doing the report that way. Try again.”

Try: “I really appreciate the effort you put into this. Here’s a tweak that could take it even further…”

2. Certainty – Reduce the Unknowns

What it means: People need to feel they can predict what’s coming next, especially when things feel uncertain. If they don’t know what’s happening, they’ll panic or shut down.

How to: Keep things clear and transparent. Share what you know, and be upfront about what’s still unclear—don’t leave people guessing.

Example:

Instead of: “We’ll figure it out as we go.”

Try: “Here’s the plan for now, and we’ll adjust as we get more info. I’ll keep you updated every step of the way.”

3. Autonomy – Empower Choice and Control

What it means: People need to feel they have some control over their work and decisions. Feeling micromanaged or powerless? Instant stress.

How to: Give your team a sense of ownership by involving them in decisions and offering options. Encourage them to take initiative and lead when possible.

Example:

Instead of: “I need you to do it exactly this way.”

Try: “I trust you to handle this. What do you think is the best approach?”

4. Relatedness – Build Connection and Trust

What it means: People need to feel like they’re in it together, like they belong to the team. When trust is lacking, everything else falls apart.

How to: Show genuine care. Be real, show empathy, and listen actively. Creating psychological safety means people will feel safe sharing their ideas and concerns with you.

Example:

Instead of: “You should’ve known better.”

Try: “I get that this was tough. Let’s talk about what we can do differently next time. I’ve got your back.”

5. Fairness – Treat Everyone Equally

What it means: People need to feel that the rules are the same for everyone. If someone feels they’re being treated unfairly or that there’s favoritism, trust and morale go straight down the drain.

How to: Be consistent and transparent in how you treat others. Share the reasoning behind decisions so everyone feels like they’re on the same playing field.

Example:

Instead of: “I’m giving them this opportunity because I think they’re the best.”

Try: “I chose to give this opportunity based on [share specific criteria so everyone can see how decisions are made]. If you’re interested, I’d love to discuss what you can do to take on something similar next time.”

Quick Summary:

When you communicate in a way that aligns with SCARF, you create an emotional climate where people feel safe, valued, and heard. They’re more likely to engage, contribute ideas, and collaborate, because they don’t feel threatened by status loss, confusion, lack of control, isolation, or unfairness. The vibe shifts from defensive to empowered, and your team becomes more resilient, creative, and aligned with the mission.

Next time you’re leading a meeting or having a conversation, remember to check yourself: Am I addressing SCARF? Am I making my people feel like they belong, have a voice, and know what’s coming next? When you’re nailing SCARF, you’re building a team that’s not just surviving, but thriving.

Would you like me to deliver an engaging, practical in-person or online workshop on SCARF for your leaders and managers at work? Of course I can! Flick me an email Rebecca@remixcoaching.com or call on 0211-471-692.

And make sure you take a moment today to celebrate how lucky your team is to have you in the lead, my friend. It's not an easy job. Keep going - you’ve got this! Love, Dr Bex xo

Key Reference:

Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal, 1(1), 1-9.

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Hi I'm Dr Bex Bell, a mindset and behaviour change coach.

I help capable people stop hustling for self-worth and leaders create safe cultures where they don't have to. Begin your journey by reading my book: Inner Critic to Inner Coach, book a free 20 min chat about empowering your team with one of my evidence-based workshops and webinars or reach out for a 1-to-1 coaching session