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How to quiet my inner critic?

Writer's picture: Dr Bex BellDr Bex Bell

Updated: 3 days ago

In this 4-minute read, Dr. Bex Bell helps you uncover your inner critic’s voice and take a first step toward self-compassion.

To quiet your inner critic, start by recognising which of the different types of inner critics apply to you

Our ‘inner critic’ is often described as a persistent, judgmental voice that questions everything we do. Psychotherapists Bonnie Weiss & Jay Earley explain it as a learned internal voice, shaped by experiences and societal pressures, that fills us with self-doubt and judgment.


Recognising this voice as a network of habitual thought patterns can be transformative, shifting its impact from self-sabotage to self-understanding.


By understanding how to quiet your inner critic, you can learn to accept it as part of your thoughts rather than absolute truths, creating space for self-compassion and growth.



What is an inner critic?


Weiss & Earley describe the ‘inner critic’ as that little (or not-so-little!) voice in our heads that seems to have something to say about everything we do.


You can picture your inner critic as an internal judge: always nitpicking, questioning, and critiquing every thought and action.


It can show up as self-doubt, guilt, or even shame, making you second-guess yourself and feel like you’re not enough. This inner critic doesn’t appear out of nowhere—it’s shaped over time by past experiences, external judgments, and societal pressures, eventually becoming an internal voice that can hold you back.


Instead of a single pesky thought, your inner critic is actually a whole network of negative thinking patterns, reinforcing each other. It can be especially loud in high-pressure or emotional situations, turning up the volume on self-sabotage and wearing away at self-worth.


If you’re wondering how to quiet your inner critic, the first step is understanding the different ways it shows up:

The seven (plus one) types of inner critic infographic


The seven (plus one) unique types of inner critics in more detail


  1. The Perfectionist: This critic pushes you to set impossibly high standards for yourself, leading to feelings of frustration and failure when these standards aren’t met. It’s focused on making sure everything is flawless and often prevents taking risks or trying new things due to fear of imperfection.

  2. The Taskmaster: This voice is highly demanding, driving you to be constantly productive and hardworking. It often instills a fear of laziness, pushing you to work harder to avoid feeling worthless or unaccomplished.

  3. The Underminer: This critic undermines your confidence, making you fear taking risks or stepping out of your comfort zone. It suggests you are not capable or good enough, discouraging action and reinforcing feelings of inadequacy.

  4. The Guilt-Tripper: Focused on past actions, this critic constantly reminds you of mistakes, failures, or wrongdoings, causing lingering feelings of guilt and regret. It may replay past events, keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-blame.

  5. The Destroyer: Perhaps the harshest critic, the Destroyer attacks your very sense of self-worth. It fosters feelings of shame, worthlessness, and self-loathing, creating a deeply negative self-image that is difficult to shake.

  6. The Molder: This critic emphasises conforming to societal or familial expectations. It pressures you to fit into a specific mold or follow particular norms to gain approval and avoid rejection or criticism.

  7. The Inner Controller: Focused on controlling impulses and desires, this critic tries to suppress behaviors deemed inappropriate, harmful, or indulgent. It can manifest as self-judgment over things like diet, habits, or emotional expression, aiming to keep you “in line.”


I add an 8th type called the Impostor-flavoured Inner Critic, or Impostor for short.


  1. The Impostor: This critic zeroes in on competence - constantly comparing your performance against unrealistically-high expectations. No success ever feels enough - this critic insists you’re just “faking it” and fooling others into believing you’re more capable than you actually are, despite any positive feedback.



When our inner critics work together

Often, multiple inner critics join forces, amplifying self-criticism and reinforcing limiting beliefs. This “super inner critic” can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors like procrastination, overworking, or obsessing over flaws—keeping you stuck in an unproductive cycle.


To break free, it’s important to recognise these voices and learn how to quiet your inner critic before it takes over.



How to quiet my inner critic?


Whatever type of inner critic is showing up for you, the first step to finding relief is:

Accepting your inner critic’s presence without trying to fix it, change it or make it go away

Rather than seeing it as an absolute truth, recognise your inner critic as part of your learned thought patterns. With practice, accepting it can lead to greater self-compassion, transforming your inner critic from a source of shame and doubt into a pathway for resilience and growth.



A recap


Your inner critic is an internalized voice shaped by experiences and pressures, driving self-doubt and judgment.


Understanding the eight types of inner critics can help you recognise their patterns and separate them from reality.


By practicing self-awareness and self-compassion, you may not be able to completely quiet your inner critic - but you can shift from self-sabotage to a growth mindset.


References


Earley, J., & Weiss, B. (2013). Freedom from your inner critic: A self-therapy approach. Sounds True. https://www.soundstrue.com/products/freedom-from-your-inner-critic


Young, V. (2021). The secret thoughts of successful women: Why capable people suffer from the impostor syndrome and how to thrive in spite of it. Crown Business. https://impostorsyndrome.com/about-the-book/




 
Dr Bex Bell

Hi I'm Dr Bex Bell, a mindset and behaviour change coach.

I help people do great things by fuelling themselves with self-awareness, self compassion and self worth. Begin your journey by reading my book: Inner Critic to Inner Coach, book a free 20 min chat about empowering your team with one of my evidence-based workshops and webinars or reach out for a 1-to-1 coaching session

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